I had to laugh when I saw this, and chuckled when I read it - but at the same time...I know exactly what happens when I feed my husband one of those delicious vegetarian bean recipes, like the one I have picked out for this weekend. So - you just might have use for these hints!

But don't despair! The problem is probably a simple result of eating the wrong foods or too much beer. Lets check out some darn fine ways of dealing with bad smells that don't cost much, and are totally natural.

Tip 1 - try eating 'activated charcoal'. Charcoal tablets absorb the gases that cause wind, and you can eat 'em inconspicuously several times a day if the problem is really bad.

Tip 2 - Chew food thoroughly. At www.freeremedies.com we always chew our food 100 times, whether it needs it or noMore chewing means less air when you swallow, and less air means less ammo for the old 'asscannon'.

Tip 3 - avoid know 'hell raiser' foods like cabbage, beans, sweetcorn, brussel sprouts, spinach, squid and monkfish. Although high-fibre foods are useful in your diet, they can lead to bloating, and unpleasant sound effects, especially when fermeted internally with any kind of alcohol.

Tip 4 - Fizzy drinks are a no-no. Give up the colas, 7-ups, beers, and other carbonated drinks. Champagne in moderation is actually ok, for reasons scientists don't fully understand yet.

Tip 5 - Caffeine causes colonic combustion! The caffeine in tea, coffee, pepsi etc can irritate the colon, and this obviously doesn't help.

Tip 5 - and this is the biggie, never try to 'hold it in'. Boffing is a natural function, and cracking one out is just the body's way of expelling un-needed gas. If you try to bottle it up, it will only come back later, double the strength. Don't give 'em time to brew, just sneak them out whenever you can!